What Does It Mean to Be Secure?

Embracing insecurity to stay alive.

Jenny Holzer, Selection from Survival Series, 1983-85

At Ask a Failure, we, meaning all of the me(s), do a lot of slowing down and defining terms. I find comfort in doing this because I value being as clear as possible. As transparent as possible. And I also know that many words do not mean the same to each of us. One word alone can occupy and evoke so many different stories, personal histories, and feelings. This is partly why I am continually amazed by words. I never grow tired of them. I am amazed because their meanings can also change over time. You could say that defining, or maybe it’s more accurate to say, sharing how words have been defined through time, helps me to feel more secure in this small communication we are sharing together via this newsletter.

So, I must begin, now that I have asked the question: "What does it mean to be secure?" by defining the term as best as I can.

"Secure,“ according to Merriam-Webster, as a noun means to be free from danger. Affording safety. Trustworthy. Dependable. Free from risk of loss. Easy in mind. Confident. Assured in opinion or expectation. Having no doubt. An archaic use of the word would be unwisely free from fear or distrust. In other words, overconfident.

As a verb secure can mean to relieve exposure to danger. To guarantee, possess, or put beyond hazard of losing or not receiving.

To be secure. To experience security is a word and experience I believe I have been seeking to understand for much of my life. In only the last handful of years have I begun to understand what inner security feels like, how it differs from codependency and how it makes interdependence with the world possible—how it feels to be in relationship to individuals and institutions while still holding onto what I define and experience as myself.